Sunday, January 14, 2007

morning thus far

  • to bed: 6am
  • wake: 10am, curse internal alarm
  • tell roomies of 1) irrational (yet somewhat conditioned) fear that casual long-term goodbye = death, totally unrelatedly, for person I bid casual long-term goodbye, then 2) resulting irrational guilt/anxiety
  • realize must bid proper goodbye and 'put all right' with conscience; no cursing of conscience
  • we ponder internal mechanisms, particularly when unconsciously we force behaviors that feel un-natural
  • threaten to lock KR in JS's closet
  • plan ski weekend
  • make tea, more tea [moretea, mortea, morte - back to that again]
  • blog

Update, 1:32pm:

[JS and I sit in the livingroom. She is fasting. I am unable to nap. The sky is gray; the room is bathed in a greenish light.]

DM: "Uh. I should shower."

JS: "Why?"

2 comments:

lanyard said...

Now, are you talking literal death-death, or emotional "I died a little inside when I said good-bye to her" death?

You shouldn't worry about the former. The latter: maybe-possible-probable!

DMn said...

I meant the latter, but now it occurs to me it would be much more entertaining if only the former...perhaps even sitcom-y, "The Morte and Mindy Show."

They'd use words like: grim, soul, and REAP. (Still having fun with the Handbanana thing.)