When/Then

Issue:
Supercrazies on the subway

Solution:
Much more complicated turnstiles

Shanty O'f'd

And I quote:

"'ave you ever been down to an Irishman's shanty
Where water is scarce and whiskey is plenty;
A three-legged stool and a table to match,
A string on the door, without any latch?"

- lyrics we were actually taught in 2nd grade, no shite

And they WONDER...

Preventative Eating

The first step has been taken, a hard-learned one at that - Preventative Eating is complete. As one of two things is about to happen and I am either 1) drinking sake or 2) drinking vodka, in less than four minutes, pre-eating is simply procedural. Sober realization of this Knowledge (tip of hat for cap-ing that, Dickinson...and Germans), must be honored.

Justification:
The Drunkard Effect will be worsened/heightened by an unlined stomach; also, I'm hungry. Furthermore, JS's crew have repaid in pizza form the unfortunate Daria's Chicken, meet The Floor, Floor, Chicken incident. [Bows exchanged, which is appropriate even if it had been a girl chicken because I like to imagine whatever is consumed, poultry or otherwise, is still all about equality and freedom of expression. If there is some native/Highlander-esque 'gaining of the spirit of one's kill via devouring' thing, then this only stands to reason and thus far is being proven true. Or we've just disproven 'gaining of the spirit of one's kill via devouring,' in which case I apologize to all appropriate native cultures, but not to Highlander (fans).] Second Tier Justification then includes Knowledge that after a bit of imbibing, ze hungers vill szet een. The objective is to avert the surely bodily damning near-sleep lard-out by simply larding out early enough to give the body time to alcocize (now a term - you're welcome, humanity).

In this way, all is well and right in the world.

Except that I am now eight minutes past sake and/or vodka time (hello saketini re-conception).