Oh Ryan Seacrest, you do amaze.
"You're going to get to spend a lot more time together. Both of you!" Really. Not just one of you will get to spend more time together.
Other Great Idol knowledge: some former winner won stuff for a song called "Jesus, Take the Wheel." Okay. I support this! Let's start the spamming campaign: if you're a real Christian, next time you're driving, close your eyes and take your hands off the wheel and just trust in Jesus. Trust in Him. He will deliver you.
Via UPS, overnight.
And why has SNL not yet done a skit of Simon Cowell in bed with various lovers? "I want you to be better. I do. You just..." (They have done one, right?)
Also, Paula Abdul needs to teach break-up lessons. "It's time for you to continue your dream." Without me. [Releases doves. Doves fly out window; she motions 'follow.']
p.s. - oh no. There's no new Office tonight. There's not even an old one. We're actually sitting here, with the t.v. and now, for no reason 'hat 'hall.
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We went to Kmart in Daytona for some provisions and on the way out noticed a kiddy-sticker-machine called "Life in the Barrio". It dispensed shiny Xtian sticker of Jesus weeping and Mary looking all Pieta. We squealed and poured quarteres into the machine, glubbing about the luck it would bring us on the track the following day. Shortly after affixing barrio stickers to race bikes, John crashed and I floated a valve. I'll NEVER let Jesus drive.
Those glittery holographic stickers? Of Jesus crying in the barrio, or just his tears were holographic? Or should we start using the power of holographs for ill? I smell a miracle!
And I'm glad Jesus either loves you or wants to let you keep marinating a little longer. (It can only be one or the other.)(Simon says.)
I read in the National Enquirer that the ongoing feud betwixt Ryan Seacrest and Simon Cowell was exacerbated after Ryan S. was caught kissing Teri Hatcher by photogs; Simon C. told him on air that week to "lose the beard."
Now, apparently, this has a meaning other than the obvious: "beard" can also refer to a woman whom a gay man associates with to hide the fact that he's a homosexual! And Simon C. was making use (POSSIBLY!) of this meaning! To imply that Ryan S. is That Way! Because otherwise why would he want to kiss Teri Hatcher?
Oh! It is to laugh!
you shall have no other gods before me
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