Friday, March 16, 2007

snakes on a saint

Where does Nature sleep? Because I'm not above ambush and torture. Um, in the face of injustice...like this weather. Tomorrow is St. Patty's, and while I'm not Irish - never 'ave been - my hair is red this year so I have a Moral Obligation to do it up. I only have Moral Obligations so often, too, so this is serious. I mean bidnezz. Plus, ever has it been the only time of year that anything resembling Catholic comes out in me - a general sense of guilt (for slip-shod Irish impressions peppering the year), talk of penance, a desire to throw snakes around a bar (a la St. Patrick)(although Irish boys mean something different by that statement, so be warned), and a genuine sense of camaraderie with drunken priests (see: Exceedingly Happy Drunk D). Oh, drunken priests, the thought of you takes me back to my own early childhood...my atheist father having his priest friends over, them getting soused at the diningroom table, demanding I play things on my beloved old upright (piano), me sitting at the table with them instead and slipping myself booze, puzzling over men who see fit to never have romantic love or kids of their own just because some other guys decided that they shouldn't even though the lack of experience makes them by all logical counts less qualified to dole out advice in the areas in which most advice is likely sought, and flicking their little loosened collars as we all laughed. Oh, priests! Oh, Dad with priests! Being a fly on the wall in Dante's 'Inferno' couldn't compare (due mostly to a shortage of brimstones, magma, and a stretching rack but not by choice).

Want to know a great exercise in restraint? Try a 17 year-old in a philosophy course taught by a drunken priest. Proof of God stuff: good times. GOOD, good times.

And now back to our regularly scheduled liquor contemplation...

6 comments:

lanyard said...

Underage drinking? The Irish disapprove!

...

JKZ!!!!!!

-- Father Sousey O'Shanahan

DMn said...

They weaned me off my bottle with a different kind of bottle. That's all.

JK! I had one in each hand.

Anonymous said...

Not that I disapprove of priest-bashing (or, really, anybody-bashing), but doesn't it stand to equally logical reason that folks who have romantic love and/or kids may not know what they're missing by not having given that stuff up like the priests (and the horribly unattractive)? Ain't it possible that folks such as them have a detached outsiders view that has more value than the projecting-our-own-crap point of view of the lovers and breeders?

Heh. That was fun.

Sláinte.

DMn said...

If their consistent advise to wives weren't to stick by their husbands NO MATTER WHAT the husbands do, your point would carry more weight.

Meanwhile, it's true even that virgins can offer sound relationship advise, so sure...all's possible. Nuns for the Great Church of Reality: all wear gray.

Shades in spades.

Also, the list 'should' be: priests, nuns, the horribly unattractive, people who cannot locate adequate co-breeders, infertiles, those comatose through breeding years, and what else am I forgetting here?

Aron said...

Having been groomed and edumacated by men and women of the cloth for most of my meager life, I have what I consider a pretty healthy attitude towards them.

While pretty much despising humanity-yoking Xtianity, I view the collared ones sorta like a hopelessly alcoholic father. Major shortcomings, but means well and made you what you are whether you like it or not.

Did I tell you I went to an all-boys Catholic school? Oh, the stories.

DMn said...

Fair enough. I was educated by men and women of the flesh, and they didn't fare any better or worse.