300 the movie, caffeine, slumber

I wanted to feel like a Spartan.

I did not. Although, it was extra-endearing when the audience clapped when the queen killed that dude (unspecified so as not to spoil it, and since I don't remember his name anyway).

It sated a general bloodlust, but we wanted to really revel in the glory of charges and strategies, and have our adrenalin shoot up with drums and billowing battle calls. Had it carried all this off though, my libido would've been uncontainable and BOY does that make for an awkward subway ride.

The cappuccino and then mass amounts of Coke at a 9:45 showing was likely a bad judgement call. Not so much of the sleep, and when I did have it, Drunk Self was superimposed on the Spartan world, all full of love and friendship. Seriously. The guy from Amistad was a messenger for Xerxes. We met in a field (no pit to kick him into! none!) and I talked to him about how rulers should be to his/her people as the sun to the crops, not a reaper. He thought this was lovely, and set up a meeting for me and Xerxes who was just my size instead of a towering giant in semi-drag, who arrived on a proper chariot and wearing a Persian head-dress (um, ya, their aesthetic would ne'er allowed for those asymmetrical headchains - says the Ancient World Fashion Police). The Spartan queen and I were having some tea, and up comes Xerxes and we're like, "Oh geez. It's such a nice day and he's totally gonna not let up on his conquesting business. Will someone bring grapes? Some more hot water for our feet maybe? Thanks! You're the tops." But then he was kind of in a funk and had a little tummy ache, so they brought him some special olive-rice dish that I really wanted to try but figured he should eat as much as he needed, plus...that I wasn't completely positive no one else hadn't poisoned it. Kind of poor form, really, to have just trusted like that and not had someone sample for him first. Oh, crazy dreams. First Rule of, erm, Rulers: have others die in your stead whenever possible. But Xerxes started feeling better, and we were doing funny doodles for each other and all laughing and I told him how when I was little I wanted to have a black stallion named Xerxes and he thought it was sweet...which was good, b/c I was thinking maybe I shouldn't've shared that. Some of those guys showed up in the metal masks and at first that seemed bad, but then X did this thing with his fingers and the four masks started making these hilario faces, and we were all cracking up, and he's like, "I can't attack you guys! I love you!" To which we were all, "Aw, fella! We love you too! You're so darling!"

I would-not-could-not have had this dream after the battle sequence in the final Lord of the Rings movie. SIGH. I want a berzerker dream. I want my battle ax and ash-smeared face.

Grudgingly civilized,
Wendy Warpants