Below is the Pirate Checklist. Check all those that apply:
- I find myself trying to make others walk planks.
- Raping and pillaging sounds ho-hum to me.
- ‘Argh’ finds its way into my vocabulary on a daily basis.
- I do not have friends, but hardies and maties.
- All I value is buried.
- ‘Bootie’ has multiple meanings for me, all of which are pleasing.
- All of my maps have at least one large, hand-drawn X on them.
- I keep dying my chin blue in hopes of it appearing as such a hued beard.
- Peg-legs and patched eyes are aesthetically appealing, even if the two combined on one individual seem like overkill.
- My best friend is a foul-mouthed parrot.
- When I look at clouds, I often see skulls, treasure chests, and the Queen’s Navy.
- I’ve fantasized about slicing that braggart in Old Bartelby’s Pub.
- I’m actually responsible for Queequeg’s tattoos.
- Men who don’t have both ears pierced I know to be both poor seamen and faint of heart.
- The people I care most about I caution to, “Be sure to have plenty o’ lime, or yew’ll be gettin’ the scurvy.”
- My Freudian slips usually involve large metal hooks, flesh, and gold.
- People who don’t make lewd jokes about shivering ‘timbers’ are no friends o’ moin.
- Land pisses me off.
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