'head'-line isn't the right word for this

...but I saw on AQ's link to this andra blog a headline that reads:
Advocacy Group Plans Friendlier Cavity Searches

"Hey! First round's on me!"

Imagine their meetings. First, what to advocate?

Equal rights?
Not really doing it for us.
Inequal rights?
Done to death.
Rumplestiltskin?
Hard one.
Then I know - cavity searches!
All those opposed...
[Silence]

A few weeks in:

I still think we're on the right path here, but I don't know, sometimes I feel kind of badly.
Like you're violating something?
Ya. But not in a fun way.
Ya.
Look, I'm not stopping. I don't care what you guys do.
Maybe if we just made it nicer...
[Dubious glance.] How so?
Less abrasive, classical music in the background, gentler...
I am NOT being gentler!
Okay, man, okay. Geez. How about some lube then? The rest of you - totally free to be gentler.
I guess I can lube them - after!
No, come on now, before. BEFORE. Promise us, you scamp.
Fine.
Say it.
I promise to lube them, beforehand. [Laughing fit ensues. Wiping tears from eyes, he explains.] Ohgawd, for word choice. Get it? Before hand? Oh lord. Dear, sweet Jesus milk. Oh, my stomach; it hurts. It hurts so much.

(I'd link it but the article it refers to has been removed anyway.)