one step above a crack whore

Today I had the best prescriptive experience of my LIFE.

The convo with this wondrous doc went something like this (and he wasn't being sleazy, just joking):
me: What else can you give me?
he: Let me think...
me: [probably agreed to let him think]
he: Well, let's also do [laundry list] so you have them but then if you take this antibiotic then you probably will get a yeast infection...
me: So Diflucan?
he: That'll work, yes. Wow, look - we've knocked down a whole forest for your stack of prescriptions. But remember the antibiotic classes so only Z-pack...
me: for bronchitis and nothing short of that or it's a waste! [muppet smile] Didn't you mention also the Cipro?
he: Want that? I can't actually write these two together, though, so...
me: Just leave the date blank for the Z-pack and I'll fill it in when needed.
he: Okay. But really. I can get in trouble. So...We can couple Cipro with the diet change and nasal stuff and...
me: YES.
he: If this doesn't do the trick, then we'll do a CAT Scan and...
me: If there's some procedure to make this all go away, I WANT IT. Also, Ambien?
he: I don't write those.
me: I don't abuse it. Truly. Only when really needed.
he: You know they can track these now, and I could lose my license.
me: Please?
he: Okay. But then if my wife won't come see me in prison, you have to.
me: Okay.