dear future dependents

I just wanted to let my potential eventual berbies know that at one time their mother had to handle such serious issues as this, from my co-worker:

Hi Everyone,

If you have my voice changing megaphone please return it to me…no questions asked. The future of this company depends upon it.

Best,

Keith

So, berbies, I guess you should totally expect me to be able to handle all else quite adeptly.