Monday, March 12, 2007

but bet a bit of better butter bot

Great Toast Spirit, I am a-sorry...for careful introspection has produced an undeniable fact. Given that only 3/5 of the time that I re-insert you to get you 'just a bit' more toasted do I actually manage to pop you up before being charred, and that 100% of the times you are saved from charring it is because I have planted myself directly in front of the toaster, it can only mean that 2/5 of the time I am a thoughtless and/or callous bastarda perfectly willing to chance your non-carcinogenic consumability. Attention span of a flea: here! Regret: moin and mine alone. It would only be right that I drop off the toaster on the dried-leaf strewn steps of an old church in the night, but I am not right. I see myself for what I am now, Toast Spirit - a Wrong Selfish. You deserve better, and butter. The best butter!
at

5 comments:

  1. lanyardMonday, March 12, 2007 at 3:22:00 PM EDT

    I know what side your bread's buttered on.

    (The burnt side.)

    (This could be either side. Or both. Double-butter.)

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  2. Aron AhlstromMonday, March 12, 2007 at 3:24:00 PM EDT

    I have tasted your toast, and find it acceptably char-licious...though if I remember correectly, it needs a vertical flipping half-way through the charring. Am I shaving years off my life by eating it thus?

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  3. lanyardMonday, March 12, 2007 at 3:25:00 PM EDT

    P.S. I have been meaning to say: I like how your archives are called Pre-Now.

    That phrase calls to mind the kind of memory-less, past-perfect existence to which I aspire.

    ReplyDelete
  4. DMnMonday, March 12, 2007 at 5:17:00 PM EDT

    A-ron,

    Gather ye toasty taste buds while ye may.

    Signed,
    Dale Earnhardt

    ReplyDelete
  5. DMnMonday, March 12, 2007 at 5:18:00 PM EDT

    Lan,

    You are past-, present- and future-perfect. 'Tis true.

    ReplyDelete